My Heart Is Sick Of Being In Chains
by Aishi-Cc
Summary: Do the dead have a right to fall in love let alone act on what they feel? If the dead have no right to feel then why must they have a heart which can yearn as well as hands which can touch but never feel? YamixKaiba


I'm a sucker for Yami/Yugi/Atem and Seto/Seth…whatever. This has been laying around half done for a while so I finally finished it after spending the last two nights, 12-5 something am, uploading fan arts into my online galleries. As for the why's well I like the paring, but I also like to play with the whole idea of since Yami is dead he doesn't feel he has a right to fall in love since he can't do anything about it without Yugi, who may or may not share his feelings and all of that. Poor dead guy that would so suck if you had all these feelings but you can't act on them, I mean Yugi is the nicest guy to share a body with but physical activity he may just draw the line at if he likes Anzu. You can have so much fun with this concept, does Yugi want Anzu or Kaiba and if Anzu would he allow Yami to do anything but kiss Kaiba? I would but Kaiba is my second fave, Bakura wins I love him way too much. This plot will show up in a few other fics some going either way, I never could pull off the one trick pony writing style if you know what I mean? Keke ja and remember if you want this updated then leave a review.

**WarNingS**: Shounen-Ai content, Angsty Yami, References to the Movie, A little langue, Slight OOC here and there. That should cover it.

**Aishi Say**

"_Stand there before me. _

_With your emptiness, emptiness. _

_So true to form. _

_So true to all I've missed from you. _

_To be a part of anything. _

_Shows me what I've missed. _

_To be a part of all the answers._

_My wish_"

Second verse and chorus to 'Where' by Ultraspank it's X AMV I downloaded but it's such fitting song if you've heard it you know what I mean.

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Yami walked slowly through rubble, flames reflecting and causing eerie glows on and behind glass. He had seen scenes like this in movies he had watched with Yugi, the sheer mass of destruction a single person could cause in this world was mind-boggling. Walking up a set of stairs he opened a door, staring at what had to have been some sort of arena but was now a burning wreck. "Hello? Is anyone alive in here?" Wandering some more he came across a black clad figure the Sennen Rod near half curled fingers, the shaft bloodied. Yami knelt down turning the figure over and gasping before taking the bloodied figure in his arms. "Seto what happened?"

Dark eyes half opened focusing on him, "You're dead?" Kaiba whispered confused by the other presence, he was clearly there.

"I know Seto but what is this, a nightmare or a vision? Tell me this is not real?" Yami pleaded, placing his hand on Seto's chest ignoring the blood not thinking about what he meant by dead.

"He can't Pharaoh, or should I say _former_ Pharaoh? See you killed him, it's all your fault," Bakura cooed walking through the flames Sennen Ring dripping with blood.

"Bakura?" Yami asked watching bloodstains grow on his pale shirt his confusion growing with them.

"Oh I'm dying too…well Ryou is anyway. Oh Pharaoh don't cry your other friends are already dead, just like little Moki so he won't be lonely." The other Yami assured him chuckling weakly as his blood dripped away not even bothering to try and slow it.

"You did this?" Yami asked too confused to do otherwise, this kind of destruction was not Bakura's MO but who else could have done it?

"No _you_ did, you selfish little man. Your obsession with learning who you were lead to this." Bakura sneered gesturing to the destruction around them with sick satisfaction, true his enemy lived but he would suffer all alone in the light. "Don't you get it yet? You can't protect them and fight the evils connected with your Item, and now I leave you to suffer," Ryou fell over Ring clacking off the cold floor, live all but spent on his Yami's last words for the moment.

"Seto please, if Anbius couldn't kill you don't let me?" Yami pleaded turning form his friend, he could not help Ryou but Seto still drew breath.

Seto sighed softly, the fires flicked in the immortal's tears but he had no comforting words for him, "It doesn't matter anymore Yami."

Yami blinked taken aback for a moment, "Yes it does I love you! You can't just leave me!" He could feel the tears soak into his choky and shirt but he did not care, he could not lose everything, not like this.

Seto smiled sadly up at Yami touching his face with bloodied fingers, every god had their limits, "The dead do not belong among the living. You can't cheat Fate after all," Tone almost amused passed through bloodied lips as dark eyes closed he had never been good at showing affection with anyone but Mokuba.

"Seto please open your eyes? Seto? I won't leave you," Yami vowed watching dark eyes fade as they opened one last time, Seto had always been stubborn. The former Pharaoh buried his face in Seto's throat trembling, being alone hurt too much he wished to join those he loved, death was a welcomed escape from this emptiness.

**)-()()()()()()())-(()()()()()()()-(**

Yami sat up gasping blinking at the predawn light shining in the window, "It was only a dream, only a dream. Oh Gods it felt so real…my friends have suffered because of me but is that why? Should I focus more on them and less on me? Why am I in control anyway?"

"Yugi if you're up I'll be gone most of the day, if not there is a note," Muto-san informed him before walking away from the door.

'_I need to get out of here and think_.' Yami got to his feet he needed to talk to Ishizu she could help him. Changing quickly the former Pharaoh ran from the room grabbing the Sennen Puzzle as he did so, "Please be alright Aibou?"

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"And that was the dream. What do you think it means?" Yami asked form where he sat in front of Ishizu's desk. Those thoughtful eyes had regarded him as he had spoken but she had said very little, her normal behavior made him feel a little better.

"Well I have had no visions of anything unsettling lately, likely it was only a nightmare brought on by guilt nothing more." Ishizu answered before sipping her tea, " As you know Seto Kaiba has no interest in learning to use the Sennen Rod, even if he did he would hardly challenge you, or Yami Bakura, to a duel. You feel quilt over Anubis, and every other evil force who has hurt those you love because of who you are, and I understand, but to just give up? My Pharaoh you must obey your destiny and recover your past, otherwise more threats like Anubis may surface. You must learn to protect, this is how it has always happened."

"So you don't think it means anything?" Yami asked just to be sure he had to know, if any of his friends were in danger he had to know.

Ishizu nodded, "Yes, not all dreams are visions form the Gods, some are embodiments of our own fears and longings. Your fear that all you wish to protect will instead be destroyed by your power is one example."

'_So that is why I voiced my true feelings for Seto my mind was telling me to_? _Should I tell him_?' Yami frowned, "What should I do?"

"Well talk to those you wish to protect, apologize to them for what wrongs you feel you have done them in the past, with their forgiveness should come an end to your dreams. Why did you wait so long to come to me?" Ishizu asked with a frown, "I can only help you when I know the problem."

"I have nightmares often but this week they all seemed to go together, I have never had dreams like that before. They felt so real, and then I woke up in control I had to come see you." Yami looked down at his hands he could still feel Seto's blood on them, so very hot almost burning, "The power I have is to protect my friends," The quote came out as an absent whisper more to himself then to Ishizu.

Ishizu watched him tremble expression so lost, "You returned my Sennen Item but you will always have the gift of knowing. Tell me have you felt anything like a warning?"

"Well the last dream I had like that of Kaiba came true but no, it felt different this was just scary," Yami answered looking up.

"Did you see anyone but those two?" Ishizu asked sipping her tea again, not bothering to address the Yami and Hikari as separate entities.

"No…is it because Kaiba ignores your warnings and I can't do much for Ryou?" Yami suggested, he had not told her what he had said to Seto, Yugi did not even know his secret longing.

"That is likely the case, your worry and guilt is greatest concerning those two for over them you have the least say. Will you speak with Kaiba of this dream?" Ishizu frowned, she knew he was not telling her something but it was not her place to question her Pharaoh.

Yami sighed, "I'm not sure if I should, or if he would even listen, he is so stubborn sometimes."

Ishizu nodded, mind shifting to the past for a moment, "Sadly that is one of the reasons why he suffers so."

Yami stood, deciding not to think too much on that, "Thank you Ishizu I should get home now."

Ishizu stood bowing, "Gods bless you my Pharaoh," she watched Yami nod and walk out.

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Yami looked up at the tablet as he passed and heard the mighty cry of the Blue Eyes echo with that of its master and he looked away, visions of Kaiba's body laying still in the rubble after the Anubis battle plaguing his mind. Running outside into the rain he stood their trembling before running again, slipping on the steps and blacking out as he pitched forward.

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Seto Kaiba frowned at his laptop screen, Ishizu had once again insisted on inconveniencing him with trivial nonsense so he decided it was time to once again tell the women to stop running her mouth. "Wait here this will _not_ take long," He informed his driver setting his laptop on the seat across from him, before standing pulling his dark navy duster's collar up. Going over what he wanted to say so he knew actually where to start he started up the stairs, looking up when someone walked out. '_Yami_?' The shorter youth ran out of the glass doors slender frame trembling, tears diluting in the rain as he stood there for a moment before running, tripping, and falling forward normally intense eyes closed. Without really thinking about it Kaiba vaulted over the railing, catching Yami and kneeling with him on the stairs for a moment, checking to see if he was hurt in some way. "Yami you alright?" Kaiba asked, he seemed to be in one piece so he gently slapped a pale cheek but got no response.

"Kaiba what happened?" Ishizu demanded, knelling across from him looking down at her Pharaoh concerned, "Tell me?"

Kaiba glared, she had no right to order him around but that could wait, "I have no idea, I was here to yell and he came running out, just stood there trembling, then started running again and just passed out. What did you do to him this time you crazy witch?"

"I did nothing, he came to me because of a dream so we talked then he left, I came to tell him something and found the two of you. Bring him inside quickly!" Ishizu ordered standing, ignoring her dripping clothes and hair.

"Excuse me?" Kaiba demanded glaring up at her, this women really was too much.

"Please Kaiba, now is not the time for your strong willed attitude, the Pharaoh needs my help?" Ishizu pleaded, she really did not want to fight with him right now she was too worried.

"Your help?" Kaiba scoffed getting to his feet the limp Yami in his arms, rain dripping from black leather. "I don't care what you say this likely your fault, he needs a doctor not a quack," Dark eyes glared at her, she always claimed to be helping but he yet to see anything good come of it.

"And what do doctors know of healing Ba or Ka? The body is not what needs to heal, I can help him and you know he would want me to. Now stop fighting with me and bring him." Ishizu turned, "Afterward you may bellow to your heart's content, agreed?"

"He's a fool to trust his life to you," Kaiba informed her looking down at Yami, he hated it but his people knew nothing about treating Yami.

"You are free to think so, but it is not your life it is his, now come there is much to do," Ishizu headed back inside not looking back, she knew he would follow he was not so arrogant to just walk away.

**)-()()()()()()())-(()()()()()()()-(**

Yami sat up gasping, removing his hand from his mouth he looked around, he was not home or any place his mind recognized. He could smell some sort of incenses and they seemed familiar but unplaceable as he got to his feet and exited the room. After a few minutes he came to another door and a voice he recognized, opening the door a crack he watched Ishizu. "I was right something is not right."

Kaiba took the Sennen Puzzle from its resting place examining it, "It looks the same to me."

"That is because Seto Kaiba you see nothing," Ishizu informed him frowning, it was an item nothing more, and hardly alive.

"So Yami has a nightmare and passes out so it's what, the end of the world? Listen lady I am not buying that so don't start." Kaiba informed her, he would not listen to any more end of the world talk.

"Put that down, you have no right to touch that, it belongs to Yugi not you." Ishizu frowned when Kaiba did not even blink, "Tell me Kaiba how have _you_ been sleeping lately?"

"Why do you care?" Kaiba demanded, he was one step away from just walking out, if he did not like the thought of leaving Yami alone with the women he would have been long gone by now.

Ishizu shook her head, "I am curious to see if any of the others are suffering from such dreams, but even if you were you would not tell me. It is my opinion something is troubling the Pharaoh very much, and it has something to with you."

"Sure it does," Kaiba muttered, going back to examining the golden pyramid ignoring her order to put it down.

"Very well, you explain his nightmare then?" Ishizu challenged, "Tell me why else did he see you and Bakura? Why did you die?"

Kaiba sneered, "Simple, you keep telling him he killed us and the past is repeating itself, what else would he have nightmares about? Do you think he likes the idea of someday _maybe_ having to kill me _if_ you're little dreams are actually correct? I doubt it since he is trying to make peace with me in hopes that will make us friends." He sighed turning, "Why am I even talking to you?"

"Kaiba please wait?" Ishizu called, the silver chain was still held in a paled hand, "The Sennen Puzzle."

"Doesn't belong to you either bitch," Kaiba growled turning to glare over his shoulder, she could not fight anything with her Item.

"Kaiba, Ishizu, please stop?" Yami pleaded walking into the room looking from one to the other, he did not enjoy is friends fighting no matter who they were or why.

"My Pharaoh you should be resting," Ishizu chided gently, she did not enjoy fighting with Kaiba, but she preferred it to worrying her Pharaoh.

"I'm alright now Ishizu. Thank you Kaiba," Yami smiled at the taller youth who still had his Item's chain clenched in his fist.

"For what?" Kaiba asked frowning, he was not in the mood for any sort of speech.

"For helping me, you didn't have to so thank you," Yami bowed watching the hand around the chain clench.

"That's it, no speech?" Kaiba asked eyeing him curiously, simple thank you's were not the gumi's style.

Yami nodded, use to Kaiba being a bit suspicious of him, "Yes that's it, no speech. Will you go now?"

Kaiba sighed at the question, that guy worried about everyone but himself, "I should but…I don't trust her."

Yami smiled, Kaiba was not the warm and fuzzy type but he was protective nonetheless, "I will be all right Kaiba. May I have my Puzzle back now?"

Kaiba blinked, looking down at the golden pendent before holding it out, "Take the thing."

Yami took the Puzzle back, it felt good to have it back again "It doesn't suit you anyway."

Kaiba arched an eyebrow at him, he had a point, "So are you ready to go home?"

"Yes, Ishizu is there anything wrong?" Yami asked slipping the chain back over his head, she would know if anything was still wrong.

Ishizu shook her head, he was beyond her help now "No my Pharaoh."

Yami smiled, "Thank you," he watched Kaiba turn and walk out of the room with a sigh before following.

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"So how long have you not been able to sleep?" Kaiba asked studying him, timeframes were useful in deciding how bad a problem was.

"All this week, normally that does not matter because I can sleep while Yugi is at school, but this morning I woke up in control and it scared me." Yami sighed folding his arms on his legs, "Yugi has been silent but he's only sleeping I cheeked."

"What will you do about it? You can hardly play hero like you are," Kaiba frowned, "Tell me?" The question was more of a plea then his normal barked order, Yami needed to talk to someone it might as well be him.

"It was similar to my vision, but it wasn't a vision, it was like a warning. Are you building a new arena?" Yami asked as long as he said no he could assume it was only a dream, that is if he was not lied to.

"Well I repaired the last one but no, lately I have been working on the VR technology," Kaiba sighed in though, "Ishizu told me what you saw Yami, she seems to think you left something out."

"It was just a dream that was much too close to my vision it's just…I do worry about you, it seems you are often a target but you have no Item," Yami looked away, "I know you do not believe the Sennen Rod can help you but…would it be so wrong to learn how to use it?"

"Yami I do not feel like arguing right now so please just drop it? I know you only want to help but…does anyone else know?" Kaiba asked rubbing the bridge of his nose, his head was starting to hurt and he was trying very hard not to snap at Yami for something that was not his fault.

Yami shook his head, "No, you and Ishizu are the only ones who know about this outside of Yugi. I was going to tell you myself Kaiba, if Ishizu could not help me I hoped you would be able to do something."

"Such as assuring you there is no new arena under construction?" Yami looked away at the suggestion. "It's alright Yami, will you tell the others?" Kaiba asked frowning in thought as Yami turned back to face him.

"I should but they would only worry, you I know won't…I mean not like they would…sorry," Yami looked down he could not seem to say what he wanted to.

"No, you are right, I will not fuss over you like they would, so relax I spent all my venom on Ishizu," Kaiba sighed taking a pill bottle from his pocket before reaching into the mini bar taking out a bottle.

Yami watched him concerned, pills meant something was wrong he knew that much, "Are you alright?"

"Just a headache, nothing to worry about," Kaiba assured him before swallowing two of the pills and taking a drink. "Doesn't Yugi get headaches?"

"Not really. So they help?" Yami asked, he had seen many commercials about such drugs, but Yugi did not seem to take many.

"Usually yes. Do you want one? I'm sure Yugi wouldn't mind," Kaiba frowned in after thought, "at least I don't think he would."

"Thank you but no, I am alright for now. I would not mind a drink though," Yami admitted, not surprised Kaiba had a headache.

"There's a bar right beside you there help yourself," Kaiba informed him leaning back. "You know last night I couldn't sleep either. Ishizu called me up ranting about something or other."

"Do you remember what?" Yami asked before fidgeting a little, "If you want to talk about it…"

Kaiba sighed, "Yes, I will only because it is just you. She said she saw something last night during mediation, prayer, whatever she calls it. It seems at one time we were friends, perhaps that is why we can work well together? At any rate it got me thinking about , well everything, which took up most of the night."

"What did you come up with?" Yami asked knowing he had mentioned it for some reason, whatever it is he wanted to know. Kaiba did not open up often and when he did he had get whatever he could out of him while he could.

"I have no desire to relive anything, but you have proven trust worthy, and Mokuba is very fond of you. Tell me Yami if we were to become friends would your gumi still leave me alone?" Kaiba asked resting his cheek on his fist looking out the window at the multicolored lights through the rain.

"I think so, I mean they know you can be civil with me so they wouldn't have to know right away. I can always try and tell them to leave you alone?" Yami suggested, some members of the gumi were more social then others.

"Not telling your gumi sneaky, I like it. Very well Yami we will give this friendship thing a try, that is if you can remember not to use my first name in public?" Kaiba grinned watching his shocked expression reflected on the window, "Is that a yes then?"

Yami blinked, "So I can call you Seto?" As long as he had known Kaiba only his brother, and later Shizuka could call him Seto, she was so sweet it was hard to stay mad at her.

Kaiba chuckled, "Yes, baka you can, but if you call me that in front of any of your little friends I _will_ hurt you." Teasing aside he knew Yami and Yugi would try very hard not to slip up, they did dislike upsetting their friends.

Yami looked away, thinking very fast before looking back at Kaiba, this was what he wanted to get closer to the other living young man. He knew he was only getting this chance because they were alone, Kaiba was much calmer when it was only them, or Mokuba was around. All those times his hand had been slapped viciously away, and now Kaiba was holding out his hand just waiting for the Yami to take what he had earned. "I understand and I accept…Seto," It felt strange just saying his name, the name both past a present but he liked it very much.

"Good, settled then," Kaiba glanced at him as the car stopped, "So you are alright aren't you?"

"I am as alright as I can be, I think, thank you," Yami moved to leave but turned, feeling those dark feline akin eyes on him, "Seto?"

"Yes Yami?" Kaiba prompted looking at him, absently searching for any sign he was not alright, he knew the other well enough to spot anything important.

"May I call you tomorrow if I need you?" Yami bit his lip waiting for a refusal, he should not expect too much too soon but he just had to ask.

Kaiba watched the former Pharaoh look away and he smiled a bit, Yami was so worried he would do or say something he would take offense to he just could not help but be amused. "How about I just come by and check up on you in person?"

Yami blinked red-laced eyes wide, "If it's not too much trouble..," he trailed off when Kaiba leaned close, it was not as if they had never been so physically close together.

"If it was I would not have offered, you must be tired," Kaiba reached past him opening the door, "Go get some sleep, you may be immortal but that body is not."

Yami nodded slipping out of the car, "I will, thank you again for helping me so much, I am sure you had others things that needed your attention."

"Nothing that can't wait," Kaiba assured him reaching for the door handle, he did have to get home before Mokuba had a stroke. "Ja Yami," With that he pulled the door shut and leaned back as the driver headed home.

Yami watched the limo drive away smiling faintly, "Ja…Seto." His day may have started out poorly but it had ended well. Heading inside he walked up to 'his' room and set the Sennen Puzzle down on the bed, he needed a shower before bed. Yugi had slept through quite a bit, tomorrow they would have to talk about a lot it seemed his secret longings would soon become a two person secret. It was for the best he hated hiding things from Yugi and he too wanted Seto Kaiba as a friend, even if that was all Yugi wanted from the dark eyed young man. He was dead, his wants and needs came second he accepted that if he could only become solid, or resurrected, or something so he could allow himself to hope for love. Was it so wrong to want to love and be loved in return? Could the dead sleep but fail to dream? Oh how he hoped not, he had a heart he did not see a point if he could never fully use it, it might as well be lost with his memories for all the good it would do him.

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Leave a review if you bothered to read this fic you have to have something to say about it. Will be updated when there are enough reviews and/or I am inspired or feel like it. Thanks for reading this thank you more if you bothered to tell me what you thought.


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